Journey to Married to a Baller, Part One

How We Met

November 2000

The first time I saw Joe Crispin play, I was not impressed. I was a freshman at Penn State and played on the Penn State women’s soccer team. Our team had won the Big Ten regular season championship and we were being honored at half time of the men’s basketball game. It was the first time I had been to a game and would be the last for the rest of that season. I remember sitting up in the stands asking my dad why they wouldn’t take that horrible #3 out of the game. I thought Joe was absolutely terrible and never thought much about him again the rest of the school year after that day.

During the summer after my freshman year, I was invited to a charity event called “The Dinner of Champions” run by the MS Society. The event raised money for MS by inviting athletic celebrities to come be a part of the dais and then eat at a table with sponsors. That summer I was invited as one of their celebrities. I can remember dreading the event because I knew the people who ended up at my table were not going to be happy. Everyone hoped they would be at the table with a big football or basketball player, not a women’s soccer player. My dad agreed to go with me though and so I accepted the invitation. After introductions and sitting on the dais for opening remarks, we ate our dinner. Then we had to make our way back up the dais, so that the big time athletes everyone really came to see, could get up and give some speeches. Then the MS society honored one of the local community who was living well with MS. I tried hard to pay attention while up there, but truth be told, I was getting kind of tired. I thankfully had one of my friends from the Penn State men’s soccer team sitting beside me to help pass the time.

The event was over and we were dismissed. I left the dais and was stopped by the mom’s of one of the Penn State football players who shared a few encouraging words with me. As I was talking to her, I looked up and made eye contact with Joe Crispin. My stomach felt like it hit the bottom of my feet. I totally forgot about my first impression of him and could barely form words. I finished up my conversation and went to meet my dad to go home, but that look had left an impact on me.

An entire year passed at school and I never ran into Joe. I saw a few articles on him in the school newspaper, but nothing that ever really drew my attention. I was dating someone at the time and I knew Joe had been involved with a volleyball player at Penn State for awhile. So I never really gave him any more thought. But the next summer, I was invited back to the MS Dinner of Champions once again. I was a little more comfortable with going that year and agreed to attend again. This year I knew a lot more of the other athletes there and enjoyed socializing with them a bit more. One of my good friends who played volleyball at Penn State was there. I slipped out during dinner to go the bathroom and stood in the hall chatting with her for awhile. As we were standing there, Joe came out from the ballroom as well and made his way over to us. He said “hello” to my friend and asked me if I was enjoying myself. I said “yes” and we exchanged a few words. Before I excused myself to use the bathroom, Joe slipped his hand onto my lower back and said to make sure we talked again. Chills went down my body, but I played it cool and said “sure”. After he walked away my friend turned to me and said, “Something is definitely going to happen there.” I said I didn’t think so since I was involved with someone and I knew Joe was too. But after the event finished, I made sure to walk by Joe as I left to say “good-bye”.

The rest of the summer went by and it was time to start my junior year at Penn State. My course load was heavy that year with being in the honors college, beginning thesis work, and having a starting spot on a top 8 women’s soccer team. Plus my relationship with Jesus had just begun. So I was busy and gave little thought to much else at the time. I had a relationship that had been on and off for about 8 years that I was trying to figure out as well.

A few classes for my major met at night. Which meant that I went to practice from 3-5:30pm and then went straight to a 6pm class. You can imagine how lovely I looked and smelled at those, but that was life. The class was normally 3 hours long, so we had a break in the middle of class. During one of my Tuesday night classes, I was sitting with my friend from my major on the steps of Thomas building talking and in walked Joe. He walked over and said “hello” and asked if we had met somewhere. I remembered meeting him, but wasn’t sure if he remembered me (later he told me he remembered meeting me, but didn’t know where). Since I had become a Christian since meeting him and was going to church, I had seen him at church a few times. So I offered up that place of meeting and said I had seen him at church before. At that, he then invited me to come to a Bible study he ran (called JCD- Jesus Christ Discussion). I said I would like to come and asked where it was held. He said to just give him my number and he would call to let me know the time and place. So I gave him my number and headed back to class.

The next day I got a call from Joe saying that they would be meeting the next day and asking if I wanted to go. I said sure and asked where it was. He said it was out at his pastor’s house a little bit away, so he would be happy to pick me up. I told him where I lived and he said he would be there at 7pm to pick me up. So the next night, I was waiting outside my apartment building at 5 minutes to 7pm. I was always a very punctual person (a little less so now that I have 3 kids to get ready), so when 7:05pm rolled around I was starting to wonder if he forgot me. By 7:10pm, I was debating how much longer I would wait. At 7:15pm, I decided I would wait 5 more minutes and at that moment Joe pulled up with a car full of people. I squeezed in the back and at that point was wishing I had just gone back up to my apartment.

The Bible study was good and I got to meet some other Christian athletes that I had not met through Athletes in Action. It was a little different than most Bible studies I had been to because there was no outline or set schedule. It was just discussion on whatever was on someone’s mind. And most of the discussion was done by Joe. I remember thinking, “Does this guy ever listen, or just talk?” We talked for about 2 hours though and then it was time to head home. One of the other people there asked me where I lived and said she lived right near me and would be happy to drive me home. I said that would be great, but Joe quickly jumped in to say he was going to take me home. So once again I piled in the back with the other people he had given rides to and we headed back towards campus. As we were driving, I told Joe we were going right by my apartment building so he could drop me off, but he made up some illogical explanation about how he would start closest to his apartment and work back across campus to drop me off last. It made no sense to me, but I wasn’t going to argue.

Once he got everyone else dropped off, I was up front with him for the rest of the ride and we chatted a bit. We got back to my apartment and I thanked him for taking me and giving me a ride. I went to get out of the car and he said, “What color are your eyes?” I sort of rolled my eyes and said, “They’re blue.” Then he said, “They’re really beautiful.” I just said “Thanks” and turned and got out of the car. Being an athlete, I never had any interest in dating athletes because I thought they were all pretty shady when it came to women. To me, most seemed to play their sport and their women hard. So his line about my eyes was really not a good move in my book.

There was an interest there though, so when Joe called the next week and we talked for a few hours, I was definitely happy. The next night he called and after another great conversation, he started stumbling around for words. When I finally asked him if he was trying to ask me out on a date, he said “yes”. After our night class, we went to get some ice cream at Meyer Dairy. Little did I know we would be frequenting that spot many more times in the year to come. But for our first date, I had no idea what lay ahead…

Read on in Part Two: Dating