Journey to Married to a Baller, Part Three

The Engagement

After Joe finished up at Penn State in 2001 (noticed I said “finished up”, not graduated…he did go on to graduate in 2006 though), he spent the summer working out and preparing to start his professional career. I still had another year at Penn State. I had decided not to play soccer my senior year, due to a number of factors including (but not limited to) writing my thesis, not enjoying the game as much anymore and a coaching change. Joe wasn’t drafted in the NBA draft, but still wanted to give it a shot if someone would bring him in for camp. He played summer league and the Lakers decided to bring him in for vet camp. So when I went back to school at the end of August, he was waiting to leave for L.A.

My Penn State Graduation: May 2002

We had talked about marriage, but nothing was ever really set. We had both said we would like to get engaged sometime my senior year and married after I was done with school. We had spoken a lot of it during the end of Joe’s senior year, but during the summer the talk of it cooled off a bit and it went completely cold once I started back at Penn State. I was preparing myself to hear the whole speech about how he wanted to go out to L.A. and be on his own for a bit, feel out the waters, etc. He knew that I wanted him to ask my dad’s permission beforehand as well and I knew he hadn’t been to see my dad at all. So I was starting to wonder if we were going to have a “talk” before he left.

It was nearing Joe’s time to head back home and fly out to L.A. and he was up at Penn State for the weekend in early September. Saturday was a home football game, so he suggested we go to the tailgate and then go back and watch the game at our friend’s house. The basketball club usually had a pretty big tailgate, so we headed there with our friend, Larry. As soon as we got there, Joe walked off and left me there with Larry. At first, it wasn’t a big deal, but then I started to get annoyed. He was leaving in a few days and Monday I started back to class, so we didn’t have a whole lot of time together. I couldn’t even find where he was. By the time the tailgate ended, I was pretty heated, and Joe could tell. He tried apologizing, but I didn’t want to hear much of it.

We headed back to watch the game and I was starting to relax a bit. At half time Joe suggested we go to Meyer’s Dairy to get some ice cream. I wasn’t really in the mood to go, but I knew Joe didn’t have too many more chances to go before he left. So I said I would go as long as Larry came along too. Larry said he wasn’t really hungry, but I kept saying he should come. After Joe and Larry both said the two of us should just go, we got in the car and headed out there. It was a chilly night, and I noted that when we got out of the car. I hadn’t brought my jacket because it was the beginning of September, but I was suddenly very cold. So after we got our ice cream, Joe suggested we go outside. I was now starting to really wonder why he was being a jerk! First he ignored me at the tailgate, and then he didn’t even acknowledge that I had said how cold I was. I said I would really rather sit inside, but he insisted we go outside.

So we sat down at a picnic bench and after a few sips of his milkshake, Joe set the milkshake on the table. This was when I KNEW something was going on. Joe was always one for putting his full energy into his Oreo cookie milkshake. I looked at him kind of funny and he said, “So I went to see your dad before coming up here.” At that I smiled and he got down on one knee and pulled a box out of his pocket. He said he knew he had been acting kind of weird, but had a pretty good reason for it. He opened the box and took the ring out and asked me if I would be his wife. Then he dropped the ring in the grass and we both laughed. And of course, I said “yes”!

Joe then filled me in on a few more details. It turns out he had wanted to make it a surprise so he had stopped talking much about getting engaged. And at the tailgate he was picking up the ring from his jeweler. And the going outside thing was just so we could be by ourselves and the proposal could be a little more private. So 10 months after we started dating, we were engaged in the same place where we went on our first date.

A few days later Joe left for vet camp with the Lakers. This was the first time we would be apart for such a long period of time. It was a stressful time for both of us too, as he was working to make the team and I was finishing up my senior year and writing my thesis. For me, it was a great time to really see what my relationship with God looked like apart from Joe. Having become a Christian just before we met, Joe provided so much motivation for me in my walk with the Lord. Plus it was an interesting time of adjusting to college life now that I was no longer playing soccer, no longer doing a lot of the “activities” I had done in the past, and with a fiance who was across the country.

Things went pretty well for the first few months. I went out to visit Joe after he had made the team. I went to two games while I was there and enjoyed getting to see his new life. I went back again during Christmas break after he had been released and was playing in the ABA. Then in January he was picked up by the Phoenix Suns and moved to Arizona. I made a trip out to Phoenix during spring break to see him once again.

The time was not easy being apart. Looking back on it, we both said we would have gotten married a lot quicker. We knew we wanted to get married, so the only reason we waited was really the cultural norm of it. After spring break, we hit a bump. Joe told me one night he wasn’t sure anymore if he was ready for the whole marriage thing. So I asked him what that meant, and he said that we should just take a few days to think about what we were getting into. Those were a few of the longest days of my life. But it really brought me to a good place in our relationship to realize that if God wanted me to live without Joe, I could. It was a good time to make sure he wasn’t taking over the center of my life where God should be. A few days later, Joe said he did feel he was ready to get married to me, but that event impacted me up until the wedding day.

Read the final section of our Journey in Part Four: The Wedding