Al Mohler posted an article today on the sad state of the unhappiness adults find in being parents.  His commentary was on an article from the New York Magazine that reported that parents are unhappier than non-parents even though most people believe that having children will bring them happiness.  You don’t have to go very far to see that this is true of most parents.  You more often hear complaining about how hard being a parent is and the desire for changes in their children (I am in this boat here as well, so I am not trying to rebuke anyone!)  As Christians, this really should not be so.  The Bible tells us that:

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. - Psalm 127:3

So why do so many of us find children to be such an inconvenience? Here are a few thoughts from my own life:

1. We believe that blessing means something should bring us comfort and ease. Children are indeed a blessing, but that does not mean they are easy! I must remind myself again and again in life that it is the hard and often challenging things that are most rewarding and do the best work of making me into the person I know God created me and saved me to be.

2. We value being served above serving others. Parenthood when done right is constant self-sacrifice with not as much immediate reward. If you come into parenthood believing that your life should still stay the way it was beforehand and that children will just fit right into all the little boxes that you had your life organized into beforehand, you are in for a big surprise! You quickly find that to put your children’s needs above your own you will often be tired (from middle of the night comforting, constant care of small ones who need you for everything, etc.), hungry (because you always eat last!), miss out on fun events (in order to preserve naps), and be under-appreciated for all that you do (just as you under-appreciated your own mother). So what keeps you going? The knowledge that God promises greater joy on earth to those who become a servant of all is one thing (Mark 10:44). And the promise of even greater treasures in heaven for those who do work that is unseen and eternal. A verse that I often need to meditate on as a mother is 2 Corinthians 2:17-18:

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Our culture is constantly telling us that not only can we have it all, but we deserve it all. To fight those messages and put others above yourself is a daily battle.

3. We have little or no vision for our job as a parent. If we get caught up in the daily grind of being a parent, it can become rather depressing. What is the point of me wiping another bottom or doing another load of laundry? But if we look at these precious little ones as lives that we are raising to go out and make an impact in the world for the greater good than our work suddenly becomes much more meaningful.

4. We feel guilty about not doing something “greater”. This is especially true for mothers of young children (as I am) who are in a season of life when beyond caring for your husband, children and the home, you barely have time for anything else! Suddenly guilt starts to set in that you could be doing so many more “important” things. Then you start to beat yourself up and compare yourself to some other “super mom” of young children who seem to be able to do so much more. I was greatly encouraged by this article by Jani Ortlund on this subject.

Let us go forth today in the joy that children bring and the great work God is doing in our lives through being a parent!

Three of My Blessings

My Other Precious Joy