Archive for Christianity
FAQ: Why Do You Travel? Why Don’t You Work?
Posted by: | CommentsThe decision of whether to stay and/or work in the U.S. while your husband plays overseas is one that may families have wrestled with. It is one that we have spent a good deal of time talking about and have come up with the best solution to at the present time. This is not to say that this will never change because we truly can’t know all the situations our family may face in the future. So right now, these are the reasons we make the decisions we do for our family, and that is not to say it is what is right for every family in our situation.
Currently Joe typically plays overseas from August until May/June. For the first year of our marriage, Joe started off in the minor leagues. He had just finished up his rookie season in the NBA and wanted to give it another try to get back to the NBA. At that point we knew there would be a possibility of either him being called up or us heading overseas after a few months. So this did not lend itself to me finding a job where he was playing. And me staying home was not an option for us in our first year of marriage. We felt the first few years of marriage to be crucial to be together as we worked through issues and figured out what we were going to be about as a couple. Since we did not believe in living together before marriage, the turning point of the wedding was a time when now we were in a covenant relationship with one another and could live together. We spent the first few months in the states and then headed to Greece from February until June. It was a great time to learn about one another and store up lots of time with the Lord through private devotions, reading and listening to sermons.
The next season I was a month pregnant when Joe began the job search. At that point I was a bit scared to head overseas to have a baby, so Joe went the minor league route once again. If he would be called up, at least we would still be in the States, but otherwise we decided to stay put in he minor leagues for the season. Thankfully, he had a great situation with a team in Kansas City and we spent the whole season there. Once again, I choose not to work, which we were able to do comfortably from a financial stand point. I did decide that since I was not able to further my speech-pathology career that I would get some education in another area that had interested me: nutrition. So for the next three seasons I did online classes to fulfill some prerequisites in order to do a masters program in nutrition science (consequently I never began the program because of the workload. By the time I was ready to start the masters program I was pregnant with our third child in three years.)
Once we began having children, the decision to stay together for the majority of the season became an easier one. Before we felt it extremely important for our marriage to be together the majority of time, but now we feel it to also be important to the welfare of our children to be with their father as much as possible. Even with the moving, different cultures, being away from family and friends, to be together as a family we believe is a much greater benefit to the kids. There are so many ways the role of the father is undervalued in our society, but we don’t wish to go along with that trend.
We also feel that the benefit of having Joe and I together as husband and wife to be of greater value than having a steady income back home provided by me. Obviously not everyone is in the financial situation where they can have the wife at home, but for us, we are committed to go to whatever lengths to make it happen (an issue I will deal with in a later FAQ). Although we aren’t against a woman working outside the home, our conviction is that a woman’s main role is to be a helper to her husband (Genesis 2:18) and a worker at home (Titus 2:5). We also recognize that in order to keep our marriage as a priority we must protect it from temptation and that requires us to be physically present together (1 Corinthians 7:5). As a mother it is crucial that I be at home as well. Especially when the children are young, we want their primary care to be given by their parents. I know that I could not fully do my work at home, support my husband and raise my children if I had an outside job that took the majority of my waking hours.
In regards to issues like will I ever work or what might cause Joe to stop playing or having socialization for the kids, I will try and answer those questions in other FAQ posts.
**Obviously I realize in this day in age, the issue of working mothers and families who live separately are touchy subjects. I am not trying to get into debates on those issues, but just to share where we stand since it is a question that is often addressed to me.
Recommended Reading- March 1, 2010
Posted by: | CommentsI put my new recommended reading up yesterday, but failed to get around to posting about them. These two weeks I decided to recommend two children’s books we have been enjoying in our home.
1. Heaven for Kids by Randy Alcorn
This book has encouraged some really great discussion on heaven. Both Joe and I enjoyed Alcorn’s original “Heaven” for adults. The discussions that have come from this book with Abby and Elijah have been very valuable. Of course, now we have to work on Elijah’s view of this life. The other day he stopped holding my hand on the street. When i told him he needed to be careful because cars could hurt him or even kill him, he told me, “Well, then I can just go to Heaven and be with Jesus!”
2. A Hat for Ivan by Max Lucado
All the kids have enjoyed this book about God’s individual callings on each of our lives. The premise of the story is that God designs each of us to do something, but only He can help us to know what that is. Others may want us to be what they have been called to be, but we can’t do what they do just to make them happy. There are a lot of Max Lucado’s children’s stories that are really cute and this is one of them.
Spotlight Saturday: My Brother, Sean
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Sean and his wife, Krista
Today for my spotlight, instead of spotlighting a “thing” I am going to focus on a person who has made a great impact on my life as a person and a basket wife: my brother, Sean. Today my little brother turns 26 years old. My little brother has been one of my closest friends since as long as I can remember. Of course, as kids we had our spats. We surely drove my parents crazy at points with our bickering, but at the end of the day, we always knew we would be there for each other. From our teenage years on, I don’t know that I can remember one actual argument or anger towards one another. I know this is a rare and very special gift between siblings, so today I want to celebrate his birthday with some lessons our friendship has taught me.
1. For whatever one sows, that he will also reap (Galatians 6:7). Cultivating a loving environment in the home can reap great rewards. My parents truly encouraged Sean and me to be great friends. They made sure we played together from an early age by limiting our television and video games and forcing us to be outside playing. They encouraged us to be friends and to look out for one another. I don’t remember pride being used as fuel in our home by pitting the two of us against one another so that they could get one of us to do something.
They also fostered affection in the home. We were always a family who gave lots of hugs and kisses and always told one another we loved each other. My Dad especially was instrumental in my brother becoming an affectionate, sensitive man. My dad was always open about his feelings and made sure that we knew how much he loved us through words and actions. My brother in turn, became a man who was completely secure in showing his own feelings. He not only cried when they dropped me off at college, but after he shed tears at my wedding, his wife (then fiancee) asked him if he would “Please not convulse like that” at their own wedding!
Joe and I have both tried to encourage and pray for a loving relationship between our children. The relationship of a sibling can be one of the greatest (or worst) in the world. Every time I see the love between our kids, I continually give thanks and am reminded of my own great friendship with my brother. I hope it is a legacy we can keep going for many generations. I know no matter what parents encourage and foster in their home, it is ultimately a gift of God to love your sibling.
My parents, Sean, Krista, Me, Abby, Elijah and Naomi
2. Faithful are the wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6). Sean has been someone who has shown me the humility of heart to receive words of correction or challenge. I have never hesitated to share a hard word with him knowing that he will receive it with a humble heart and think it over. He has always been quick to admit his mistakes and ask for forgiveness or prayer in areas of weakness. He knows he is not perfect and therefore is always looking to learn and grow through the encouragement of others.
3. It is more blessed to give than receive (Acts 20:35). Sean is one of the most giving people I know. He is always looking for ways to serve those around him. I know this is the work of Jesus in him though because growing up my mom had to be on top of him just keep his room clean! Since becoming a Christian, Sean has certainly emulated Jesus, who came not to be served, but to serve (Mark 10:45). Even with his busy schedule, he is always available to help out. He will come change your tire if you are stranded, help with your yard work or design a banner for your website. He is a man of many talents who loves to use them to bless others!
4. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord (Colossians 3:23). Sean is a hard worker. He has taught me a lot about stepping out of my comfort zone and learning to do new things. All of the computer skills and website design he has learned on his own. He and his wife bought a house that needed some fixing up, and Sean learned how to do most of it all on his own. He and another coach started a soccer academy that Sean has kept running since day one. If there is work to do, Sean is going to do it with all of his might. And he is not looking for the praise for it, but simply works hard for the audience of One he loves above all else: God.
5. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24b). Sean is also a loyal person. He dated one girl seriously in all of his life and married her. He is someone that once you are friends with him, it is going to have to be you who breaks the tie with him. He still gets together with high school friends and keeps in touch with those from college. He was always protective of me (he almost came to blows with a guy who took a cheap shot at me in a a co-ed adult league game the week before my wedding!) and to my knowledge has never spoken ill of me to anyone else. He is a true friend and one that you can depend on.
That is just a small glimpse into my brother and the way he inspires me in my life. If there is someone in your life who does that for you, tell them today!
