Archive for Lessons
Already in the Zone
Posted by: | CommentsAs I mentioned after having Naomi, I think each time you transition to having another child in your life there are challenges. But so far, I think I have found the fourth to be the easiest. Part of this may have to do with the fact that I did not have to do any major traveling within the first month of having Isaiah as I did with the other three. It could also have to do with the fact that for the most part, Isaiah is a pretty easy, calm baby. But I think a major factor in the ease of transition is that Joe and I have been outnumbered for 2 years now and have learned to play “zone defense”. It was tough to go from 2 to 3 children and to switch from a man-on-man defense to a zone. But now we already know how to play the zone, so although there is one more body, we basically know our strategies. And having two more years of marriage and partnership under our belts, we are even that much mroe in sync with one another and how we work best together as a team!
Addressing Heart Issues in Children
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When we get home from being overseas, one of the things the kids enjoy is having their whole library available to them for reading time. Our kids love to read and only having about 1/50 of their library with them during the basketball season is tough. Right now, some of their favorite books to read are the Berenstain Bear books. I enjoy reading these books because I grew up reading them as well. And they deal with a lot of real issues that kids face. But the place they fall short is dealing with the heart issues that lie behind the behavior issues that they address.
Joe took the kids to Dick’s Sporting Goods today to look for baseball equipment for the kids. It was here that he faced a similar problem to what the Berenstain Bears faced in the book “The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies“. In this particular book, Brother and Sister Bear have an issue with throwing temper tantrums every time they go shopping and are not given every single desire of their hearts. In a similar fashion, our children were little desire factories today at the store with their Daddy (for example, Naomi was convinced she need a bowling ball bag with a Sponge Bob bouncy ball). In the book, the solution was that each child was promised they could pick out one thing from the store as long as there were no temper tantrums. So the story ends and the temper tantrums are gone and Brother and Sister Bear each walk out with a special treat every time they go to a store.
Although I understand that the outward behavior of the temper tantrum is eliminated with this kind of parental guidance, is that really the goal we are after? Do we just want to eliminate a behavior? Were Brother and Sister Bear really rid of the “gimmies” or were the “gimmies” just kept under control by being promised a gift every time they took a trip to the store?
For us, the goal is addressing the heart issue that is the root of a desire for things. It is the covetousness and selfishness that we are trying to constantly address before, during and after trips to the store. It is not easy though. Changing outward behavior is much easier in the short term. But for long term benefit of the person, it is much better to communicate about the deeper issue. I know that I have the same issues in my own heart when I enter a store, so it is a good reminder to me as well to talk through these issues with my children.
This is something I need to remind myself of as I prepare to give birth to our fourth child. In those early days when I am tired, adjusting to caring for another life and feeling overwhelmed at times, it is often much easier to just deal with changing behavior. But I want to have a vision for who I want my children to be in the long run, not just what is convenient to me at the moment.
Notes from a Daddy of Two
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Joe Becomes a Daddy of Two
You may have read my birth stories of Elijah and Naomi on my birthing overseas page. But the other day I found Joe’s account of Elijah’s birth and the day after when he was left to care for Abby for the first extended time on his own. It made me laugh and also thankful for how far he has grown as a father!
Elijah Joseph Arrives:
So I (Joe) was laying in bed sick as could be earlier this evening. I was getting my rest, because we had a feeling something was going to go down tonight. Abigail gave something of a prophetic word a few times today, something to the effect of “Mommy, hospital?” Apparently she really did know something that we did not. Of course, the best explanation might be that she simply wanted to go to daycare to play with her friends (or just to sit in the ball pit, a favorite pass time of hers). Either way though, she did have us thinking.
Erin came walking in the room after getting a shower to tell me that she was having pretty consistent contractions every 3-5 minutes. That definitely got me thinking. So we prayed for grace for the both us (I was in double sweats at the time under all our covers) and called our friend Camila to let her know that we thought it was time. After Camila arrived the contractions got harder until finally Erin wasn’t able to talk so easily through them. I have always had a strong conviction that babies are best born under the oversight of professionals in a hospital, not on our kitchen floor under the oversight of my incompetence, so I felt pretty strongly that it was time to get moving. Thankfully Erin agreed.
Erin’s personal nurse (and she really does seem to be Erin’s personal nurse!) was there before us. She is a big Teramo basket fan and a good friend of our Vice President and his wife. What a great blessing she has been through this entire process! Also Marietta, expert in linguistics, met us at the hospital. Even though we have been in Italy for 8 months our Italian is pretty pathetic (you can hear me say ‘poco Italiano’ ['little Italian'-at least I think!] quite a bit around here). She too has been a gift from God and answer to prayer. The Lord’s goodness abounds in all the details.
So we arrived, they checked things out, monitored the baby a bit. The contractions were getting pretty intense when all of the sudden Erin realized that we had not brought the cameras. What are we, first time parents? I guess it is that second child thing! So I rushed to the car, rushed in the car (passing by a few slow drivers in no passing lanes-normal protocol in Italy really), picked up the cameras and rushed back to the hospital. When I arrived, I was greeted by an “I’m ready.” I knew exactly what that meant. A few pushes (2 I think it was) later and little Elijah was out. He looks great, even with the typical baby cone head. We are truly thankful.
Erin is wiped as one might expect. She said it was O so difficult. I have to say though, she made it look easy. I am wiped too, but it is hard to go to bed after such an experience of God’s goodness and grace. Erin and I could not stop talking about the revelation of God’s goodness. Prayer after prayer He has answered for the sake of His praise. No summary can ever do His mercies justice. Abigail slept through the whole thing. She will probably wake up tomorrow asking for mommy immediately (normal protocol). I will try to explain things to her. She will probably both get it and not get it at the same time. Lord willing, I will take her over later on tomorrow morning (if I can hold her off that long!).
We are thankful for all of your prayers. God is O so good! To check out some pictures, just click on the “Crispin Family Pictures” link to the left and go to April. They should be in there, as long as I got the publishing right!
Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen and Amen.
Elijah and Mommy Update (and more than a few words on Daddy’s fun day with Abigail):
Hey there. Just a quick update before I go to bed. Today was a long one, but I did get the opportunity to go to the hospital with Abigail later on this morning. We didn’t visit long, but Abigail did get her first sneak peak at Elijah Joseph. She was interested for 30 seconds (and I am being generous there). After spending the morning with daddy, she was fixed on getting as much time with mommy as she possibly could! I am thinking that that will change when, Lord willing, Elijah enters ‘her’ (and she does indeed dominate it) living room tomorrow.
Erin hasn’t gotten much sleep (if any at all), but we did get a fan to her tonight and are praying that it will help. She is wiped out. Please pray for much grace and healing.
I too am wiped. Abigail is exhausting for 1 hour, let alone the whole day! And I don’t have the tolerance built up the way Erin does you know. But God did grant grace and we enjoyed our day together. Abby particularly enjoyed the ‘delicis bench toast’ (that is delicious french toast if you don’t speak Abby). Actually, in saying that, I did have to call into mommy a few times today for some translations of Abby language. Here are the two best.
The first and best occurred when I could not understand what was meant by the word ‘hids.’ We had just watched her videos (a slide show Erin put together that Abby loves, pictures of family and friends, etc.) So I knew there was some sort of connection there, but I had no clue really. Of course, Abigail looked at me as if I were crazy, incompetent daddy. So after her saying ‘hids pease’ about 20 times in 2 minutes (and I am not exaggerating here), I decided it was time to put in a call to the Abby translator, mommy. Erin picks up. “Hey hon, I need a translation here.” Putting the phone to Abby’s ear I say, “Tell mommy what you want.” She says simply, “hids.” Honestly, that was it. Erin immediately says, “Were you guys watching her videos? She wants to see the home movie of her playing ball with the kids in Poland. She loves to watch that right now.” Do you notice the connection? How did I miss it? It is so clear is it not? “Hids” = “home video of me, Abigail, playing ball in the living room of our apartment with the kids in Poland.” O to enter into little Abigail’s world, where a simple unintelligible word can open the door to watching an obscure 10 minute video clip buried deep within the ‘my videos’ file of our computer! I am O so glad that the Lord of glory condescends to here my prayers just like that!
The next one caused me to put in an almost immediate call into the Abby translator. It occurred when I was finalizing Abigail’s pre-nap routine. Now, she is hands down the ‘routine queen.’ You need to know how to put her down for her nap or else she will tell you. Of course, the problem arises when she is telling you clearly (at least in her mind) and you just aren’t getting the connection. See, when you are the mommy, you don’t need connections, because you are the connection. You are there every minute so you know it all. All connections are simply there. Abigail brings up some obscure reference to something that happened one month ago on a walk, in the rain, to a man she saw once, in a red car, near to the pizza shop and park and mommy understands completely with one one utterance of ‘red car’ in the middle of our living room! Daddy doesn’t have such a luxury you know! Anyhow, I digress even further than I have already. After doing the routine almost perfectly to a tee (except mixing up a few words of “Praise to the Lord”) I get her all tucked in and she comes out with something like, “hip it.” For sure, I had no clue again. Here I am, thinking I have it going on right now with the routine and she throws me for a loophole. I asked her twice before I put in the call. Erin picks up. “Hon, I need an emergency translation. I have her all tucked in and she is saying something of ‘hip it.’” Erin replies. “Is the zipper in her crib not zipped up? You have to zip that up before you leave the room.” Amazing once again am I right? Lo and behold, I go back and what do I find, but an unzipped zipper (this crib, which is more or less an Italian pack and play has a zipper entrance from the outside so Abigail can go in and out during the day). I zip it up and all is well and good! At least I learned my lesson for bedtime tonight!
Anyway, I hope someone enjoys this post, because I need to go to bed. God has been O so good today, as He is everyday. He has granted us much grace and joy and peace in believing and we are hoping and praying that Erin and Elijah will be home sometime in the middle of the day (or earlier) tomorrow. Actually, that was all I was going to say in this post, but I do have the tendency to be long winded sometimes. Ok, maybe all the time. Peace. We love you all and thank you for your prayers.
